Checking In

Hi everyone! It’s 2021 and boy are we off to an odd start! I don’t know if anybody was expecting anything different than 2020, but I sure was hopeful. I feel like we’re living in some sort of dramatic apocalypse movie. I personally am off to a good start though. I know that I have been pretty quiet on here for the last few months, but I was dealing with some mental health issues that I could not figure out how to communicate. I don’t usually share much of my personal stuff with other people, but I think it’s about time we make it okay to not be okay… so I’m going to go ahead and say it… Depression F-ing SUCKS doesn’t it? Like really, anxiety and depression are enough on their own, but add a global friggin pandemic in and BOY does that shit escalate.

Spoiler alert: I am happy to say I am feeling so much better and you know what did the trick? Exercise and crocheting… who woulda thunk it?! For the longest time during this whole thing, I found myself not wanting to get off the couch to go to work or to do anything; I was sensitive, sad and honestly not much fun to be around. I was constantly fighting with my own brain and became overly worried about what people were thinking of me and that’s just not who I am. I’m usually that person that does not give a single shit about what people think about me, but I was afraid to do anything because everyone is being so cruel to each other these days. My cliche millennial brain was telling me I needed to cut out social media, but that just led to an addiction to iPhone games. What I realized was that I needed to put down the phone and do something for myself. What was I being mean to myself about? My health. I felt so weak, both mentally and physically. My angel of a friend Carla happened to reach out to me that week about working out together and we haven’t stopped since! Beyond that I picked crocheting back up and that space from my phone was so nice, I felt productive. The happiness that productivity brings me is priceless. I am totally one of those people that gets all anxious and guilty when I take time to just relax, so crocheting gives me that sense of achievement I was searching for.

Hang in there everyone, WE’VE GOT THIS!